On this day in 1964 I was born in Miami FL.
I was told by my mother that the Birth Certificate said 11:41PM.
My mother didn't birth me into this world so she needed to check the Birth Certificate
for exact time. I needed that info for an astrology reading given to me more than a few years ago.
I don't know the woman who carried me while I was cooking in her womb.
I am thankful that she did carry me, rather than to think of me as disposable.
I never really concerned myself with the question of who she was, or how and why could she give me up;
she did and that is enough to know. She had her reasons and I thought to know her might be an intrusion
in a life she might have been glad to have forgotten.
I won't kid anyone about some confusion I faced growing up without knowing flesh that born me.
Medical issues were incomplete as there was no history to consider. That becomes more important as we age
so the absence of historical genealogy happened more as time unfolded.
My family treated me as family so the issue never came up while growing up save a time of revelation of fact.
However in my own thinking I asked many times why characteristics and traits that my brother and sister seemed to easily manage
escaped me. It isn't easy to hang that reasoning on acceptance of lacking fleshly foundation.
There were times however which presented a reality when not knowing history was quite amusing and beneficial.
Seeing folks react to the fact that I was adopted can be a priceless experience. Their expertise goes away like a fart in the wind.
Sympathy and understanding flow under my feet like a red carpet's unrolling.
Before this year circumstances of birthright visited me once or twice a year. That was the average. This year however, that has ended.
None of it matters anymore. I'll explain. As I became a student of God and Jesus, I read the books of the Word and came to know
that Father in Heaven made me. Studying the life of Jesus (Emmanuel) God is with us, left me an example of how to live accordingly.
His life in detail was lived in a unique manner. None other in history has done equally to Christ.
He argued with authority to those presuming self importance in a manner I found to be very exciting. His abilities to manipulate the laws of nature
for purpose of identity seemed an invaluable resource to posses. His self control and discipline were traits of character I starved for while living.
As I matured in faith the reality of being a child of God dismissed any questions or considerations I had of flesh foundation. Moses was adopted by Pharaoh's daughter. I had to take an account of who and what I was in honest comparison to Jesus' life. After I saw my shortcomings in that comparison I realized striving to be more like Christ was and is the most important work I needed to fulfill.
It is one thing to exist while not liking yourself. It is another to live with a purpose divined by supernatural authority. I tried living by man's law and morality. I always found need to explain myself or be condemned by those who might have otherwise not known i was adopted.
I yielded to man's authority, but I didn't respect it. In serving God I never have to answer to man's law. Respecting those who think too highly of themselves means little. I have to love them as they are God's children. I don't have to yield to them, nor do I allow them to condemn me.
You may not like me and that is fine. In twenty or thirty years what will any of it matter?
This journey in serving God gives me a useful way to reflect upon all I did to know and not do things that lead me to hate on myself. In fact, the things I do these days give me reason to desire life and love living. Today in this time and place I dare say I'm happy. I care little of the things that trouble most others through current times.
When I didn't think of God living amidst man's wisdom I regularly did what many considered impossible. That trait left many angry at me. In man's wisdom there were more than enough folks out there who would have loved to see me come across an unpleasant end. I still do those things that others would think impossible, but I also do many more that even surprise me. These accomplishments bring me back to that thankful feeling I first knew for being birthed instead of aborted.
Today I am on the threshold of revealing work that will have never been seen anywhere. Tracy and I have already done that once in our book Convoking Hell. I still don't know of any co-written autobiography such as the one we wrote. By comparison that work is nothing to what is about to be revealed.
Here is the rub. This work coming isn't ours to claim. It simply is an offering that hasn't yet been given previously. Moreover, instruction came to us
in presenting this work in a way of publication never seen, nor considered.
If none of that surprises you than this may very well give you pause. There is no profit for any of the work that we'll realize.
We'll not make one dime for any of it. I really care little what you think for my telling. You may say such an effort is insane. You'd be wrong.
Crazy???? Oh you bet. The insanity of it is yours to ponder. I consider being called crazy the ultimate compliment.
I consider things these days in a way I didn't know about just a short time ago. The constraints of flesh no longer bind me.
In a few short hours, God willing I'll make 48 years on this earth. Every second in front of me draws me forward like a moth to a flame seeking light and warmth of brilliance we must return to in a cycle of life.
I am.... Still Here.